hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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