Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
you had me at cake vodka
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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