Already got asked if we're dating
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
