i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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