how can u be prego again
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
my poor anus
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
