I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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