she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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