I just made out with a guy for $7.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Randomize
