I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
