Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
