she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize