I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
