My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
