there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
