Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
