Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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