Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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