We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
