i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
