the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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