Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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