she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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