Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
