i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
