he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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