NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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