i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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