come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
