I wanna bring you to show and tell
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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