K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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