I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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