I think I won the penis lottery.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
