She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Who died my cat blue again?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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