i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
