# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
