So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
