I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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