i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
