return my video game
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
