So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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