if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
