So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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