I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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