this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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