you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
