he wants to bone in the snuggie
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
