He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
