I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
