I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize