they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i came on her dog
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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