What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize