So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
as a side note pls kill me
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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