Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
