she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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