if i can run in heels then i can drive
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
