Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
