i used baking grease as lip gloss
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
