I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
