Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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