I'm drive I can fine osifer
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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